A note about Mothers on Mother's Day

Photo: Zenon Toczek
www.zenontoczek.com/

"To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors  of a rainbow."

 - Maya Angelou, 

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Motherhood. 

I can't speak to it personally. I am not a mother.

my mom.

Some will read this and tell me, "nah you're a mother. you've got fur babies." Okay, fine. I do. But let's have an honest moment...motherhood to a little baby human that grows up is astronomically different to having pets you love and care for. I appreciate both versions of "motherhood" but today I celebrate the actual human people who have served as mother figures to me throughout my life. I am lucky to have strong females in my life, women who have been through it and back and still manage to have love to give (in abundance).

To me, that is true strength. And strength is what it takes to be a mother.

Imagine: you are pregnant. your body literally makes the bones and your insides create your baby (AMAZING!). life is still LIFE and wrenches are thrown at you even though you are pregnant - the world stop for no one, still you persist. little human is born. now you are in charge of the well-being of another life...if not, you generally get in a lot of trouble with...everyone (society, the law, your own parents, etc.). That's a lot of pressure, still you persist. You realize your love knows no bounds for this little creature and you would literally die for this creation. The intensity of motherhood, still you persist. That is what I celebrate. A love that is so grand, words don't do it justice.

Mom and I in Fredericksted, St. Croix

Thanksgiving with my aunt, mom,
late maternal grandmother, and cousin.

Now, my own mom is super cool and really awesome. Shit, she literally gave me life, time and time again (birth, a kidney for my first transplant, rehabilitation and wound care during Calciphylaxis). I wouldn't be here writing this post today if it weren't for her...

But I also have to celebrate all the strong women in my family who have served as examples of what I strive to become in the future. I am so lucky to have such incredible women related (by blood or by marriage) to me that I can learn from. I am who I am today because of the lessons learned via these women.

My strong and beautiful aunts.
Photo: Joanna Garcia Parkin

Dad, Step-mom, and Step-sister. 😍

These women have taught me what it is to be a strong, persistent, resistant, woman of color who deserves to be heard. These women have taught me what it means to be proud of where your from and the importance of representation. These women have taught me what family and support and love mean. I am so fortunate to have this tribe of women lifting me up. I feel truly lucky and seen.



I recognize that many don't have this...let's not forget. Mother's Day is a not a happy day for everyone. The idea of Mother's Day can be a trigger to some. There are those who may have been abandoned, have unhealthy relationships with their own mothers, those that can't conceive, lost their mother, been hurt by their mother, or, simply, are grieving the loss of their mother-daughter relationship. If you are having a hard time today, you are not alone. I promise to be mindful of myself and others in an effort to honor you, too.

Art by: Jess Bird
blessthemessy.squarespace.com

While I am very lucky to have the women I have in my life, Mother's Day is a bit of a trigger for me. Especially as I get older. My health journey has not been easy and milestones that most meet haven't been met in my reality. One day (soon-ish) I hope to try to become a mother to a human child. The thought of it makes me emotional. I truly yearn for it. For now, I will focus on my health (that I've been granted by my own mother) and love on my 6 fur babies (I know, that's a lot of pets lol).

But before I go, a barrage of photos of the rest of the important women in my life
(that I could find photos for):  💁

My late step-father's side. Grandma took me in like her own blood grandchild.
 Taught me everything I know and respect about Trinidad and Islam.
My aunts have also always been there and all the women in this family have supported me through my hardest times.
I'm so grateful to them. 

my maternal great-grandparents.
My great-grandmother taught me how to appreciate taking my time and being grateful.
also how to make THE BEST Avena. 

My paternal great-grandmother and I. I
 have limited memory because she died when I was still pretty young,
but I do remember her being so kind. 

My stylin' paternal grandmother who taught me how to love with empathy and grace.
and an appreciation of a good (and delicious) home cooked meal. 

We have fun.

My great-grandmother

Grandmas and mom goofin.

Cousins, aunts, grandma, and me.

My great-aunt, cousins, mom, and aunt.

And of course, my mother-in-law. She has literally been there through my toughest times. 
Thank you for loving me.

Also had to share: The GOAT with Muhammad Ali and others

So cool. 

And with that, I leave you. Mothers - Happy Mother's Day! I hope you're celebrated today, despite the current worldwide circumstance. While today is the "commercial" holiday (that even the creator of said holiday regretted it), every day that a child is alive is mother's day. 

You did that. 

Thank you. ❤

"Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not."

- James Joyce, 

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

Til next time,

Solange xx